Additional statements can be found at
https://as.nyu.edu/departments/french/people/InMemoriam_NancyRegalado.html
Simple Gifts
'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.
-- Elder Joseph Brackett
Thankful to have had Nancy in my life. For her love and caring for all those around her, for her joie de vivre that she always shared, for her boundless curiosity that she brought to every conversation, and for her thoughtfulness that she shared with so many simple gifts. She never required a specific occasion to send a little keepsake that she had retained as a memory for one of our experiences together, and being the recipient of these unexpected but delightful gifts would always lift my spirits and carry me forward for days on end. I hope that many of us can carry this tradition forward as a way of keeping Nancy and her spirit forever with us.
Gregory Freeman — nephew
C'est avec une grande émotion que jai appris le décès de Nancy. Les souvenirs sont nombreux, je ne vais pas tous les énumérer. Elle a fait partie des premiers étudiants à Yale de mon mari Daniel Poirion ce remonte bien loin....!
Par la suite elle a toujours gardé une relation proche pour les travaux intellectuels, mais aussi une grande amitié avec notre famille. Nancy avait organisé au debut des annees 1990 avec mon mari un colloque à Yale, ce qui a ete un moment tres intense.
Nancy etait si accueillante, avec toujours lampathie qui la carracterise lorsque nous étions de passage à N. Y. Nancy j'aurais tant de souvenirs et d'anecdotes à raconté. Ici je retiens sa grande gentillesse son huminité dans les moments difficiles.
Je pense à ses enfants que nous avons bien connu, ils vont vivres avec le souvenir d'une mère d'une grande bonté, et une générosité. Je présente mes plus sincères condoléances à ses enfants et sa famille.
Jacqueline Poirion — friend
Nancy was a force of nature. La “grande dame” of the French Department will be sorely missed. She left an indelible mark on all of us who had the pleasure of knowing her and we are numerous. Studying with her, being her teaching assistant and her colleague was a treat and a profound learning experience. She was an extraordinary scholar of medieval literature – Le roman de la rose will be forever associated with her – an exemplary reader of PhD dissertations, a true mentor and role model for young scholars.
I had the honor of knowing her and working with her for over forty years. She was a fierce ally who did not shy away from standing strong and championing the rights of graduate students, younger colleagues, gun control and many of the other issues she espoused. Her empathy and generosity were boundless as well as her extraordinary energy and curiosity which propelled and bolstered those around her. She kept our community connected throughout the years. Our luncheons, tea parties, conferences, literary and political conversations will remain etched in my memory. I grieve her passing but know that she remains a part of me.
Henriette Goldwyn — colleague
I am so sorry you have lost your mother and sad that all of us have lost a dear and cherished friend.
Nancy and I met when your grandparents moved the family to Mill Valley, California. We were 11, lived 2 blocks apart, and have stayed in touch for almost all of our 90 years. I cherished this friendship and always feel blessed when I find a friend that wants to maintain contact through all the stages of life. I remember well Marianna when you made your mother a grandmother. She was so excited and anxious to share.
I met you and your brother twice. Not memorable occasions for you I am sure as you were both very young. The first was 1978, we had just moved from California to Washington, DC. I took the train to New York and spent the night in your 100 Bleaker St. home. Slept in the library. I was amazed that anyone could have that many books. Probably because we moved 18 times and you stayed put.
The second time, you, your brother and Mom had rented a vacation house on Edisto island
On your way home you stopped and spent the night with us in Roanoke, VA. You might remember that as I was building a doll house in the basement.
Your mother was great. The last two summers she stayed with your brother she Ubered to see us near Boston. What a treat that was. If it works I will send you a picture I snapped as we enjoyed soup, salad and bread sticks at an Olive Garden lunch. We had so much to share they nearly had to throw us out to prepare for the dinner crowd.
I know that she was incredibly proud of her children. Anton and his family giving her that great summer vacation every year and you, always there for her. When I questioned her about living alone she replied “ Mariana is only 15 minutes away and she can be there in a heartbeat”. How wonderful that you were so close and she was able to maintain her independence.
Our condolences to your family as you travel this difficult time. Hold everyone close. Family is everything.
Sincerely,
Susan Peterson Hoots — friend
I loved being with your mom and always recall that she said she spent her life working on three curmudgeons: Baudelaire, Rutebeuf, and Villon--that made me feel right at home with my grumpy poet, Gautier de Coinci. But it was her great collaborative work on Fauvel that propelled me toward the Salle des manuscrits at the BnF. In that hushed space, under its tall, elegant windows, I followed her lead and learned to listen to books sing.
The years musing on performance, memory, and manuscripts with the MARS dynamic duo, your mom and Timmie, were surely the best of times!
One thing you didn't mention, though, was how very proud she was of the work you and Anton have done and do. She never failed to marvel at that!
Karen Duys — former student
Querida familia, les acompaño de corazón en este momento tan difícil. Lamento profundamente su pérdida y deseo que encuentren consuelo en los recuerdos compartidos y en el cariño de quienes los rodean. Cuenten conmigo para lo que necesiten. Un abrazo muy fuerte.
Eufemia Huaraca — friend
Nancy showed me what a force for good in the profession can do. I am another in the bevy of colleagues who cannot imagine my professional life without her. At every step along the way, she was an engaging mentor who asked you the right lead question at just the right time. Nancy the medievalist who attuned us to the poetry of rascal poets, Rutebeuf and François Villon, their personal voices. The scholar with pitch perfect French who was as vital a part of a community in Paris as in New York, an internationaliste in close exchange with friends across time zones right through her last year. The researcher with a sixth sense about theater and performance, and a quick eye for manuscript details. Throughout her years, she shared her sense of common cause with so many of us fellow women scholars, and this long before our numbers were significant on campus, and feminist groups were recognized in the academy. This, I learned, was only one of her life-long commitments. Her anti-war views and opposition to gun violence had her out on New York streets, and on the phone with her friends to compare strategies and swap stories. I admire the way she kept what was important in life out front. That was one reason why Nancy never stopped connecting with friends, new and old. Above all, I love Nancy who brought people together with pizzazz.
Helen Solterer — colleague
Growing up, I thought of Nancy as an ideal of everything a New Yorker should be - a generous host, thoughtful critic, lover of culture, and fierce political advocate. Through the years, and especially since living in the same city for the last decade or so, I got to know her more deeply in her role of aunt, sister, mother, neighbor. All of these selves opened another window onto a remarkable woman.
Nancy was a person you could always talk to, and whose curiosity and engagement for topics from the most critical global shifts to the family-mundane seemed never ending. I learned so much about how to live fully from her.
Several recent moments with Nancy are vivid in my mind these days, though I can’t even place them in time or remember the scenes fully. I can picture a group of family in her apartment last year, doubled over with laughter at some racy story, with Nancy laughing until tears streamed down her face. I hear her voice enthusing with my teenage son about books, or see her hands working on the lawn in Maine hulling a mountain of strawberries. I am remembering her booming voice chanting at a recent demonstration a month or so ago, standing in solidarity with immigrants, and I can visualize her face even in her last few weeks, smiling with curiosity, affection, and energy at everything coming her way, even in hard times. will miss her, and I hold her daily in my thoughts.
Stella Billings — niece
As a little sister. I remember Nancy as a skinny teen who ate toast laden with butter & sugar for breakfast. She was popular and smart. Her boyfriends often tried to bribe me with a quarter to leave the living room where they sat.
One boyfriend went with Nancy, our father & me on a fishing expedition in the San Francisco Bay. We capsized and Nancy was terrified! Her boyfriend and dad kept us all calm until the Coast Guard rescued us. Nancy loved theater; she performed in several highschool & community performances, including playing the Queen of Hearts at the open-air Mountain Theater. Nancy went to Wellesley College in Massachusetts, so I didn’t see much of her until she married Antonio Regalado. They were both studying and teaching at Yale, living in an apartment over a loud bar. I lived with them during a rough time for me, and I was always welcome! Just as Nancy was welcoming all her life.
Margery Freeman — sister
Mirella and I add our voices to the legion of family members, colleagues, and friends that mourn the loss of Nancy, a person whose great heart and mind illuminated and enriched the lives of so many. We will never stop missing her.
Charles Affron — colleague
I am so very sorry to hear of Nancy's passing. She was one of my professors at NYU back in 1979, and I always recalled her French linguistics class with great fondness. We reconnected many years later, and a friend and I would get together with her for brunch on my occasional visits to NYC. Nancy was always a delight! So smart, so engaged, so passionate, always good natured. Recently, I think we went nearly two years without seeing her, and so I am very grateful that on September 20 of this year my friend and I had brunch with her at Society Cafe, the little restaurant in a boutique hotel across the street from her apartment building. It was our go-to place for brunch and the conversation was lively, as always. Nancy was a thoroughly lovely woman and I am grateful to have known her.
Robert Dardano — former student
I'm so sorry to hear of Nancy's passing -- although I hadn't seen her in several years, it was a pleasure to know she was bringing light to the world as she always did. She was a kind and generous advisor and a fiercely loyal friend. Her memory is a blessing to so many of us. And to Mariana, I know from experience that the joys and challenges of caregiving are many. Three cheers for you as you accompanied Nancy on her journey.
Elizabeth Wright — former student
I send you sweetness and consoling thoughts on this Thanksgiving Day, which comes so soon after Nancy has passed. I remember her making coffee first thing in the morning when I stayed with her in January. The pot held a seemingly inexhaustible supply of refills. When Edward and Michelle arrived that first morning, Nancy's bamboo tongs for the toaster were missing. Michelle found them after a search; Nancy fairly chortled with delight; I felt a gust of family happiness. Love, Mary Ann
Mary Ann Barton — sister
I send my deepest sympathies to you and your entire family. Nancy was such a profound part of my life--and, as we see here, of so many people's lives. I feel so, so lucky that she played such a role in young and now-middle-aged adulthood. I treasure my memories of her and the lessons from her.
Marilyn Lawrence — former student
Each time my thoughts return to the news of Nancy's passing I feel again the pang of her loss. Although she wasn't my thesis director, she was a mentor and model for me throughout my career. At the beginning, she taught me how to write an abstract and, as my first listener, initiated me into the art of giving conference papers. At every point through the years, Nancy was the best reader of my work in progress, whether articles or books: her comments on every level of the text from style to content reflected the generosity of her spirit and the keenness of her intelligence as she aimed to help me articulate what it was I wanted to say or do. She was the best of our profession as a scholar and a human being. The eight-foot long toy stuffed snake she and Marianna found on the curb many years ago in NY and brought along on a visit to give to my first son remains in his bedroom as a sign of her playful spirit and I love to see it as the visual sign of her continuing presence in my life. I treasure our long friendship and mourn her loss along with her loving family and friends. RIP, Nancy dear.
Matilda Bruckner — former student
After my parents divorced and my mother left to be a home care nurse, she and I would spend time with the Norman and Charlotte Freeman. It may have been only one week, but it represented all I missed about family. Nancy and David were closest to my age, so we played together. The highlight of my stay was Sunday, when Aunt Charlotte set up a mini church--small chairs with song books on each one in front of the piano. It was magical.
The first time Nancy came to one of my dinner parties in Bayside, she was very pregnant with a shirt that said "Baby" pointing down.Years later we happened to be in France at the same time, so Dick asked her to translate at his meeting with a fellow beekeeper. When she spoke of this at my husband's memorial service, it was to note that little interpretation was needed between these two men of the same hobby! Recently I was with Nancy at Cousin Jeff's 90th birthday, comparing Rollators. What fun! Thank you, Mariana, for having us remember this bright star!
Love--ViVi
Virginia Hlavsa — cousin
This is very sad news. I had hoped to ask to visit Nancy after Thanksgiving but now all I can do is cherish memories that go back a long time, even to nursery school days with my daughter Cathy [and Mariana]. Nancy and I had so many connections via our love of manuscripts. She often asked me about pictures and I often asked her about texts in French, and when Nate was sick and after he died Nancy, Peggy Brown, Carla Lord and I had multiple teas and dinners together, not just as widows, but as friends to share happy memories and new projects.
Lucy Sandler — colleague
I was graduate secretary in the French Department of NYU from 1984-1986, during which Nancy was Director of Graduate Studies (some of that tenure she shared with Charles Affron). It was a bit of a rocky start, because I had mistakenly assumed that the job was no different than undergraduate secretary, which I had just finished doing for a year. It was far more complicated, as the stakes were much higher for graduate students aiming to become professors or teachers than for undergraduate students usually just taking a French class. I was a little ashamed that I had eschewed training from my predecessor, Peter Dickinson, but Nancy walked me through some of the more important tasks with what I call her “firm patience.” As soon as I showed the humility to absorb what she was showing me, our professional relationship was forever after smooth.
As I became much better at my job, I sought ways to make it easier for Nancy to do hers. Figuring out which students had genuinely urgent problems and which were perpetual office hour pains was my first endeavor. Once I knocked on the door after just 5 minutes to “remind” her of a non-existent meeting. After the time thief was gone, she wondered how she’d forgotten about this meeting, and erupted in laughter when I told her there was no meeting --I just knew precisely how much she wanted to be rescued. After that, our rapport could be positively telepathic.
I began to realize that the piles and piles on Nancy’s desk were not the mark of a disorganized mind, but rather of a person who was in the habit of unconsciously assuming that time would expand to accommodate all the things she needed to get done. (Indeed, I am quite sure this is actually the case with many working mothers.) She considered every flyer in her inbox, and invariably had the sincere thought that she might go to that reading or demonstration or lecture (because everything interested her.) But eventually, there were tasks she needed to do that got buried under this or that pile, and this was a problem. So I developed the habit once a month of coming in early and organizing her desk. The first time I did so, I will never forget her delighted surprise at opening the door to the completely unexpected decluttering. I sat her down and explained, “You’ll note the garbage can is full – don’t even look in there, just trust me. Then everything else is triaged by: To Do Now, To Do Soon, To Do Later.” So this way I kept her treasured piles, but found a way for her to work through them efficiently (and agreeing with all of my designations, I’m proud to say.) And at the end of that very day, she plowed through all the urgent tasks, and many of the others, at the end telling me, “I didn’t even realize the anxiety I was carrying around about that desk, but I feel much better! Thank you!”
Over time, we had many personal conversations it is rare to have with one’s boss, and when she told me to please let her know when I came back into town after I moved to California, there was no doubt in my mind as to her sincerity, and so we had lunch several times over the past 30 years. But it had been over a decade since my last visit when I let her know I would finally take her up on her offer to host me anytime in her guest apartment. Thank God we had a very long conversation on Facetime before we got down to business – which was to schedule my visit with my husband from October 9 to October 14. October 9th was the day Nancy fell, exactly when we were in the air.
Reading Mariana’s text from the E.R. upon landing, my primary emotions were of course concern and fear, but right behind those were the intense disappointment that we would not have those hours of decompression and swapping New York stories in her apartment after our sorties into the city. David and I made sure our trip was still memorable, and I was extremely grateful that those years working together had bequeathed Nancy and me a friendship in which we genuinely could often finish each other’s sentences, because we had all of those conversations in my head, minus, unfortunately. some wonderful anecdotes of adventures she had in Maine or Brittany or New Orleans.
She was one of the most treasured friendships of my life and I will keep having conversation with her in my head for many years to come.
Mark Olmstead — colleague
We have been thinking and talking constantly about your mom and our beloved sister, aunt, grandmother, teacher, mentor etc. My strong wish would be to have known better a pre-35 y.o. you. I look forward to others sharing more stories of Nancy Scott Freeman Regalado Horwitz. We'll need it.
None of the Seasons are available to the same extent since your passing. However, in transition I find Nancy's Spirit already over my shoulder, whispering in my ear, appealing to my better natures, and cheering us all on as she has joined an integral part of the 'whom' that my life responds to - ancestors, pastors, and guide. Aunt Nancy, you were a guide. From the VW that had holes to watch the road. To a Brown bomber filled with comix, (and a roaring, needling back seat goon squad advocating for overpriced fudge). Trips that nearly drove Uncle Nat off to settling for a non highway exit - 'early exit.' You persisted. Use Full and Care Full.
You have the grittiness and tenacity of your forbearers. 'El Diablo ya tienes su reclaman que se les garantice un trato igualitario.' Yours is a grace that was witty, extreme in erudition, fit full in grace. You had an uncanny ability to 'know the room;' and, you worked it. Only you knew how to dance in whatever space you were found in. Yale and NYU grew better from your life-strong giftedness.
Whether you were tempering a city of violent hopelessness to become publicly gun shy; or, maintaining world relationships through dignified friendship; you have always practiced 'Love as the First Motion' - celebrating and noticing the gifts and magnificence of your children and family legacies. In dignity and integrity - you were a fast and noble friend and committed participant. Full Stop.
Nathan Shroyer — nephew